In 4 days it will be 3 months since we left Australia.
Honestly I’m not counting, but with the move so fresh I'll probably count until the change feels ‘normal’. It doesn’t feel normal yet, but I feel bouts of progress.
I wish I could summarise all my feelings into a nice neat paragraph so that I could explain how it feels to move my life to another country. I’ll be honest, I still haven’t made much sense of it myself.
Even though moving was a conscious decision, it’s probably the weirdest experience to date. I say that as someone who in my 20’s, spent 6.5 years away from my family travelling the world.
I think the difference is having kids.
Let’s face it, generally you're more settled after having children, you kind of have to be. So when it comes to uprooting all of that, it’s big. You're not just relocating your stuff, you're moving yourself and your children away from relationships, really important ones. There’s so much more attachment when you have a family, so many more strings.
Then on the other side of the move, you're dealing with living in a place that's so different than what you are used to. You try and retro fit your old life into a whole new way of living, I’ve since found out that doesn’t work. I need to adapt and that’s where things have gotten a little hazy. I'm asking myself questions. How do I want to live? What do I want my life to look like? My mind is flooded with change and it’s hard to decipher what it all means or find any answers.
For me, it’s been a bit of a struggle. I'm happy to report though, the kids have settled in quite nicely. Sonny has had some rough patches but overall he and Ivy seem to be loving it. Shaun is chuffed about his new job, but me, I’m still finding my way. This isn’t a sympathy call, it’s just the truth.
On the other hand I’ve loved how this move has made me revaluate my life. It’s also made me see how selfish I can be and how I give so much great advice but rarely take any myself. At times when I feel down because I’m missing home, I have to find strength I haven’t had to draw on for awhile and say to myself, it’s all good, you’ll be ok. It’s about changing the way I think. The way I live.
The fact is, nothing stays the same, even if I weren’t to move countries. Like everyone else I just need to navigate my way through change and acquaint myself with a new way of living and be open to what that brings. I think change is so valuable, but being so wrapped up in getting here, I hadn't stopped to think how the change would make me feel.
Regardless of how I feel, things need to be kept in perspective, it could be way worse, #syria #iraq #nepal #pakistan #thelistgoeson. I'll be fine. We will be fine. Let the adventure begin.